"Hey Coach, you suck!"

If you haven't heard those words directed your way, you have not been coaching for too long. Well, maybe you just haven't been paying attention to the stands. If you love coaching and don't think that anybody could possibly think or feel that way about you, then I beg you to get out while you can. If you haven't felt that way about yourself at some point, then you're probably not a very good coach.

The reality of coaching is that no matter what happens in any game, somebody is not going to be happy with you. Did you pull your top players too soon in a blowout? Did you not give your deep reserves enough playing time in a blowout? Did you have somebody in the wrong position when they made a critical error? Did you leave somebody in for one too many batters? Did you send a runner only to see them gunned down and the rally killed? Again, if you've never had to answer these questions then please contact me. These are the questions that haunt the good coaches for hours after the bleachers are cleared and everyone has gone home. These are the questions that you try to get your spouse to understand, but rarely remember to thank for listening. These are the questions that you get phones calls, text messages, emails, or conversations about from parents and fans. These are the things that keep you as a coach up long after others have fallen into a comfortable sleep.

So what can you say or do as a coach to prove all of these parents and fans wrong? Well...not much, because deep down we all know they're right. As a coach you constantly question yourself. The fact that parents and fans point those things out to you only magnifies what you've already been mulling in your mind long before the game ever started and after it ended. The best thing to do is just admit that on some level you do suck.

As a coach you can't do it all. We all miss things that are "obvious". While you're pondering who is going to go to what position when you bring in the next kid to pitch, you don't notice that your left fielder is playing a little too deep. While you're trying to figure out if you can get another minute or two out of your best player while another kid is on the bench in foul trouble, you don't realize quickly enough that the other team is running a set play you've scouted with your team. To the parent sitting in the stand watching the game, it seems like such an obvious thing that any good coach would notice, but they're not the duck on the pond who is calm on the surface, but paddling like crazy just below. They don't understand that while things are falling apart on the playing field you're sitting one of your best players because they didn't hustle, they're not competing, you're sending a message that goes beyond the moment, or they did not speak to their teammates in the way proper way during the last huddle.

While people on the sidelines will never quite understand all the decisions that are racing through a coach's mind from second to second, it's okay. That is what separates the parents from the coaches. Coaches need to accept that on some level we do suck. We do miss things. There are always things that we wish we would have noticed or done differently, but we did what we thought was best at the time. As a coach you should never walk away and feel like you coached the perfect game. You might have done almost everything right, but chances are an assistant made a key suggestion at the right time, or a player bailed you out with a great individual effort at a key moment. These things happen all the time, and they go a long way in determining just how much as coaches we suck. In fact, what most parents will never understand is that 99% of what goes on out on the court or the field has been repped countless times during practices. The level of how much you suck on a certain day is balanced by such a small threshold of player execution.

Great players cover up a lot of mistakes. I've always hated Coach of the Year Awards in sports, because inevitably the award goes to a guy that had a team "over-achieve" in the eyes of many fans. Yet, the next year that same coach can be run through the ringer because the players didn't quite match the same level of performance. Did that coach suddenly forget what to do in games or practices? Probably not. Fact is that he always sucked, but for one season he sucked a little less and had good players that executed at the right time.

As a parent in the stands or as a fan watching on TV, we as coaches are guilty of the same crimes. We accuse other coaches of not knowing what they're doing. We shake our heads or laugh when we disagree with the decisions, preparation, or "adjustments" another coach might make. Sometimes we go as far as telling our friends and fellow coaches about how bad Coach X sucks. Yet, we never bother to put ourselves in the position of that other coach. We don't know whose arm might be a little sore, who showed up late for practice, or who hasn't been giving their best effort lately so they're sitting to learn a lesson. All we see or care about is what is going on out on the court or between the lines, because at the end of the day it's all about winning.

So what I'm trying to say is that it's okay to suck. As coaches we all suck. You're never going to make everyone happy, and the sooner you accept that as a coach the better you'll be at your job and the more you'll learn to deal with everything. As a coach, you know when you suck. Those who are closest to you know when you feel like you've blown it because you're up half the night, you want to be left alone for hours, or you just check out for a while. If you haven't experienced any of those things then you're not a good coach.

However, if you hang around in coaching long enough, you'll learn to suck less. You'll learn when things you did or did not do cost your team versus when your players cost your team. You'll also learn to listen to your parents and fans. While they may not agree with what you did or why you did it, their complaints and suggestions are worth listening to. They offer you the opportunity to evaluate what you have been doing as a coach and explain why you are right. They also offer you the opportunity to listen and grow, because as tough as it may be, we as coaches are not always right. While you may not completely agree with a parent or fan, there is a different perspective that is being offered that allows you to see things from a different set of eyes. And while it may be hard to swallow some of your pride, at times implementing a parent suggestion or change might make you suck less.

So at the end of the day, realize that as a coach you suck. Nobody is going to come and pat you on the back after a game and say that you did a great job, and there is no reason they should. Players should get the credit for performing well. However, you should be ready to deal with the criticism when things don't go well, or when someone is unhappy. Accept your failures and shortcomings and grow from them. Don't blame the players, just make them better. No matter how many wins or losses you encounter, as a coach, at the end of the day it is your job to admit to the things you need to do better and learn how to deal with the criticism. If you became a coach because you thought it looked easy, well now you know. If you're reading this and you've never coached, it's a different world on the other side of the lines. Trust us, we as coaches know when we suck, but feel free to keep reminding us.