One word, huge difference
Have you ever been a coach before? If you have then you should be commended for volunteering your time or for getting a small amount of money to represent your school. However, there are two kinds of coaches, and one word makes a huge difference. That one word goes directly in front of the word coach, but changes so much. What I'm referring to is the difference between a head coach and an assistant coach.
Throughout the past decade plus that I've spent coaching sports, I have been in both roles in baseball and in basketball. From an outside perspective, the difference might not seem quite as significant; however, if you've had the opportunity to serve in both positions at one point or another you'll understand exactly what I'm talking about. I'm not saying that one is better than the other, but the roles, relationships, and stress involved is much different. Some people are perfect assistants, but cannot be a head coach, while others cannot accept not being the head coach. Either way, both positions are vital to teams, yet most parents have no understanding of the difference.
Being an assistant coach can be both frustrating and rewarding, depending on your personality. As an assistant coach, you spend most of your time in anonymity. Most parents see you on the bench, but they never quite understand exactly what you do. If things are going well, then parents love you and assume that you're doing a good job. As an assistant, you get to become closer to a lot of the players. You're the go between for the players and the head coach. Often times, kids will come home and tell their parents how much they love you and enjoy playing for you. When the head coach comes down on you or asks you to do something differently, it's the assistant who gets to pick the kid up and fill them with positive vibes. The assistant's job is to remind the player that they're not as bad as the head coach might make them out to be. If things are going poorly, well it's the head coach's fault and you're just one of his lemmings.
From a coaching standpoint, if you're an assistant under a good mentor or head coach you have the opportunity to gain a wealth of knowledge. You can learn how to run a program, a practice, or how to deal with parents. As an assistant you get the best of both worlds in terms of taking away good habits, but always thinking how you would do things differently. The downside to being an assistant, is that very rarely do you get the credit that you might deserve. Often times assistant coaches notice something small that makes a big difference in a game or a player's performance. It might be positioning the kids in the field or suggesting an adjustment in the game that takes the other team out of their offensive rhythm on the court. Those little things can mean the difference between winning and losing, but to the casual observer the head coach is the one who gets the credit.
On the flip side, the assistant coach gets to relish the joy of anonymity. When a suggestion backfires it's the head coach that has to wear it for the team. If the head coach does not follow your suggestion and the team goes on to win, you'll never feel the guilt or blame for suggesting something that cost the team. Furthermore, if you make a suggestion that the head coach follows and the team suffers because of it, the consequences still fall on the head coach for following your suggestion. While you'll kick yourself for being wrong, the head coach will lose sleep over making the wrong decision that cost the team.
So am I saying that being an assistant is easier than being a head coach? Absolutely not. Often times the head coach expects you to know exactly what to say to a kid when you take him off the court. You're left to interpret why the coach took a player out of the game. Many other times the head coach suddenly turns to you and asks for a suggestion. It may be a question that he has been thinking about for a minute or so, but now as an assistant you've got to give a quick answer to a question you haven't been thinking about. In many ways an assistant coach needs to be able to read the head coach's mind and anticipate what questions might be thrown his way. Assistant coaches have to be ready to show up for practice and quickly implement a practice plan that the head coach created.
However, assistant coaches and all of the parents in the stands have a number of luxuries that head coaches do not. The biggest luxury is the ability to say, "I don't know." Assistant coaches and parents do not have to make decisions on the fly or on the spot. Both are usually more than happy to offer opinions and suggestions, but they're not the ones responsible for the outcome of a game. A head coach can ask an assistant if they should take a kid out after this batter and they can honestly respond with an "I don't know." A head coach can ask his assistant if they think going to a zone defense might help slow down the other team, and the assistant can get to "I don't know" in a variety of ways. Yet, the head coach has to make that decision in a matter of seconds.
Head coaches do not have the option of saying I don't know. As a head coach, not making a decision or a change quickly can have just as many consequences as making an adjustment. Hesitating for one possession or one batter can mean the difference between winning and losing. While some of those decisions seem so obvious to those sitting in the stands or right next to you on the bench, there are often dozens of variables running through the head coaches mind. Do I take the kid out now while he's feeling positive and good about himself, or do I leave him in a little longer and possibly allow the other team to creep back into the game? Do I allow the kid to work out of a tough jam, or do a take him out now while we can stop the bleeding? If I take him out am I not letting him battle through a tough situation? Is taking him out not going to allow him to work through a tough situation in the future? If I take him out now, how is my pitching going to line up for the next potential game? Can I trust the next kid to come in and throw strikes in this spot, or am I better off riding the kid on the mound? Is the kid on the mound getting tired, or has he just lost his mechanics a bit? All these things run through your head in a matter of seconds, and as a head coach you have to make a decision that affects everyone. An assistant or parent can be wrong and nobody will ever know, but as a head coach everyone knows if you're wrong.
Head coaches can't freeze and say I don't know what to do. If you freeze the next pitch can be the base hit that changes the outcome of the game. Head coaches have to look crying kids in the eye when their decisions don't work. Head coaches go home and don't sleep well at night. They play the game over in their mind and think about all the decisions they made or didn't make that could have changed the outcome of the game. Assistant coaches get to go home and sleep well knowing that they offered suggestions the head coach chose not to follow, or that they were in sync with the head coach but their suggestions just didn't work out.
Following tough losses the assistant coach's job now turns into that of a consoler. It's your job to tell the head coach that he made the right decisions, but the players just didn't execute. Often times you're trying to pick up the head coach like you do one of your players. You assure them that the team will bounce back or that things aren't as bad as they seem. Sometimes you even apologize for not recognizing something sooner that could have helped out the head coach. Your job is to basically do anything you can to keep the head coach from feeling worse than they already do.
As the head coach there are no words that can pick you up. Ultimately it was your decisions that won or cost you team the game. Assistants may have been offering suggestions that you followed, but it was still your decision to follow them. You may have completely agreed with your coaching staff about what to do, but you're the one responsible for the performance of the team.
The other thing that most assistant coaches get shielded from is the administrative and personal side of coaching. Assistant coaches aren't up filling out paperwork or looking at schedules. Head coaches are the ones that have to contact papers, submit scores, report to administrators or directors. Head coaches are the ones who get phone calls, text messages, and emails from parents. Head coaches are the one who get called racists or clueless. Head coaches are the ones who get questioned about playing time and positions.
As a parent, it is easy to show up and watch or critique your player's team. A parents focus is usually on one kid, or the other kid who plays their position. Suggestions and complaints that come to you as a head coach from a parent are typically focused solely on one kid, and they usually do not have the teams best interest in mind. As a head coach your job is to put every kid in the best position to succeed, and those positions often involve tough decisions. Your focus is on everything all at once, while you're still trying to stay in tune with every kid's emotions.
A head coach has to make decisions on playing time and positions based on skill and merit. It is not easy looking at an absolutely great kid and telling them they're sitting the bench for this inning, and most likely the majority of the game. A head coach has to tell a kid or a parent that they're not playing a certain position or as much as somebody else because they're not as good as the others. Those conversations are never pleasant or easy. Assistant coaches get the luxury of saying, I don't know ask the head coach. As an assistant, it's times like those where you're awfully glad there is somebody higher up the ladder than you. The head coach has to decide whether or not you're willing to push a kid deeper into the game for the sake of the team, or if he's thrown enough and you're willing to lose to save a kid's arm. The head coach has to decide if disciplining one kid for their actions is worth potentially losing a game for the entire team. As a head coach you're constantly monitoring the physical and mental health of players with the expectations of the team and parents.
Decisions, decisions, decisions. As a head coach they are everywhere and there is no escaping from them. Head coaches take on that position because they're tough enough to make those decisions. Head coaches take on that position because they relish the role of controlling a game. Head coaches take on the position because they can handle and compartmentalize the stress. Head coaches take on that position because they love working with kids and seeing the joy and satisfaction they feel when everything works out. Head coaches take on that position because when things don't work out they're okay taking the blame. Yet, head coaches don't want your sympathy. The expectations are what drive us and make us want to be even better.
So if you've never coached before or you've worked as an assistant for a few years, I hope you understand that there is a tremendous difference between the assistant and the head coach. Both are extremely important, but vastly different. The higher you climb in sports the more defined those roles become. No matter how many hours or beers after the game has passed, the assistant coach's head hits the pillow a lot softer at night and their phone is much quieter the next day. No matter what happens, every good head coach always feels it is their fault why their team lost. It's amazing what a difference that one little word in front of "coach" can do.
