The Greatest Teacher of All
Coaching can be so draining for any number of reasons, but one of the biggest frustrations for any coach can be trying to get a player to change their attitude, behavior, or effort during a game. There are so many times, especially when coaching younger kids, that the biggest challenge for a coach is teaching kids how to deal with failure. Kids will often come back to the dugout after making an out with tears in their eyes or walk off the field when something goes wrong. Because there are so many things going on at once, usually you tell that kid to stop crying, hustle, or that they'll get another chance, and then you quickly re-focus your attention to the field and turn it over to an assistant to handle. Yet, for most kids the same exact thing happens over and over again throughout the game, the tournament, the season. Why? Well because most of us do not take the time to actually make the kids sit and learn from their actions.
When you're coaching or sitting in the stands, it can become pretty easy to forget just how difficult the sport you're watching is to play. Baseball is a sport where the offensive player is going to fail to reach base more times than not. At the youth levels, the best players can reach base 60-70% of the time at the low levels, but as they enter middle school those numbers start to drop drastically for even those type of players. The best pitchers at the major league level allow at least one base-runner per inning, so even they need to deal with the fact that 25-40% of the batters they face will reach base. And those are just the best players at their positions.
Yet, I always just shake my head and laugh when I hear youth baseball coaches preach to little kids that major-leaguers make an out 70% of the time. Do you think little kids really care? Most young, competitive kids are just learning to deal with failure and expect to do well EVERY time. Some kids have parents that EXPECT them to do well every time and remind them of what they're doing wrong each time they make an out. Most of the coaches who use that expression are the ones who get the most upset when their own kids fail. Again, the game looks pretty easy when you're sitting and watching. It's really easy to see kids chasing bad pitches, or dropping their hands, or not charging a ball and getting eaten up by a bad hop, but often times we forget the speed of the game when you're the one in the field or the batters box. We even yell at professionals for the same mistakes, forgetting that they are human too. But does the yelling ever help, besides allowing yourself to vent your frustrations?
The same thing applies to coaches. When I see kids walking off the field or thinking only about themselves the first thing I do is get on them. I make threats of what will happen if they don't stopping pouting or start hustling and talk to them about how one day a high school or college coach might be evaluating them strictly on their behavior. I say those things, but I don't think what another coach might think of me if they heard me saying those things. I'll say the same thing over and over to a kid, yet I am admittedly bad about just making them sit and watch. In my opinion, the best coaches don't say those things, they just simply remove the player from the game. I remember one of my favorite managers, Bobby Cox, removing Andruw Jones in the middle of an inning for not hustling after a fly ball. My assumption is that he had talked to Jones privately about his lack of hustle and the effect on the team. Instead of getting into a heated public dispute or having another talk with Jones, he sent a message to the entire team that this would not be tolerated. At this point Jones was not the perennial superstar, but he was trending in that direction. I'd like to think that moment had a big impact on both the team and Jones' career, as he went on to become one of the best defensive outfielders to ever play the game. Cox didn't care about how many more balls would be hit to center the rest of the night or how many more at-bats Jones' spot in the order might get, he sent a clear and direct message in that moment that had a lasting impact.
I am the first to admit when I make mistakes, and over the past couple of years I have not done a very good job in this area with my own baseball team. I have occasionally sat kids for not hustling or pouting, but not with the consistency I should have. Like most coaches, I want to win, and I think that by addressing it verbally during, after, or before games I can teach the right lessons to my players. Wrong!
In youth baseball you typically do not have a sub, so even if you pull a kid from the field, they still get to bat, unless you want to have them count as an automatic out. Also, at the youth level, moving one kid from a key defensive position has a drastic impact on the rest of the team defense. Those are some of the reasons I use to justify for not taking a kid out of the game like Bobby Cox did to Andruw Jones. It's not that I don't see the same things as parents do in the stands, but as a coach I have to think about how removing a kid in the second inning will not only impact us in that moment, but what about the sixth inning with the game on the line and that kid's spot in the order coming up. Again, it is just an excuse that I hope to get away from with my baseball team, especially as the boys enter their middle school years. It is on me as their coach to make them better in ALL aspects of the game, so how am I doing that if I don't have clear consequences for unacceptable actions? My former basketball players would be shocked to see some of my kids behaviors and not see them removed from the game.
If you really want your players to improve in all aspects of the game, especially the emotional side, the best teacher for them is the bench. And don't just sit them on the bench, but give them directions and instructions on the bench. Tell them what to watch for. Have them point things out to you and how it looks to someone who does not know the kid. Losing a game or two because you sat one of your better players to teach them a lesson that will prevent further speeches and endless threats will only make the player and the team better in the long run, plus it will save a lot of stress down the road. Typically, the parents of the emotional player are the most supportive because they face the same issues at home or in other sports. They are seeking that coach who can help break their child out of that frustrating pattern of behavior. The younger you can do that for a child the more successful you'll make them in the long run.
I know this and have done this with certain kids for a wide variety of things, but I have always struggled with knowing how much a kid can really control when it comes to their emotions. Some kids at young ages literally can't control their emotions, so is it fair to punish a kid for something they literally can't control? How long should they sit? An inning probably isn't enough, but a game is probably too much. Finding the balance in baseball is always such a tricky thing because the action and game flow are so different from game to game and dependent on a wide variety of variables. Like I said earlier, is sitting on the bench but still getting to hit really a punishment? I know I have sat kids before and never had to deal with the issue again, but I also know I have not done it with the consistency and fidelity that I need to in order to really push the kids and team to where we all want to be.
Basketball is such a different, and easier, animal to tame in my mind. I can take a kid out of a game and there are a larger number of kids that can fill his or her position on the floor. A coach can have the kid sit right next to them and show them exactly what they are talking about. Again, sitting on the sidelines makes everything look easy. It's so easy to point out defensive rotations from the sidelines. You can make a kid understand why they must fight to go over screens instead of under them in certain situations. In basketball, the game action is constant, and you can insert the kid back into the game in 30 seconds if you want because he already had a chance to see the exact thing you wanted them to observe twice. In baseball, the game is on it's own time, and a player may sit for 30 minutes and not see the one thing that you were trying to address with them.
In basketball, the practices are so much more competitive because of the nature of the sport. Kids are constantly in offensive and defensive situations that pit them against others. You have the ability dozens more times in a practice or a game to get on a kid for their actions or something they are or are not doing. It is also easier to sit them because you know what to expect for the 3 minutes or quarter they are sitting out. You know who you will rotate in their place and what sets you can and cannot run. In baseball, you never know when the ball is going to be hit to certain spots or when adversity will come to an individual. But then there I go justifying why I do or don't sit kids for inappropriate actions.
Essentially, I have found that sitting kids in middle school and high school goes much further than yelling or lecturing them ever does. Furthermore, kids will also reveal their true character while sitting on the bench. You find a lot out about what kind of teammate a kid is when their sitting on the bench as some sort of punishment. If they're active and engaged in the game then they are learning what it is to be a good teammate and they're generally reflecting on their own actions and how it is impacting the team. If they are sitting on the bench and pouting and more concerned with when they are going to get back in the game or even mocking their teammates, then it is highly likely that they will be sitting back on that bench at some during the season for a similar reason.
Sitting younger kids can be tricky and a delicate situation. However, if done right it can have the desired lasting impact. Phil Jackson, a Hall of Fame coach, once said that the definition of insanity was doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. I've really thought about that and tried to apply it to my own coaching. If I'm saying the same thing over and over again to the same kid and they are not changing their behavior, then I probably need to try something different. In 99% of those cases I have found that sitting the kid out of game action has changed their actions. So the next time you feel like you're going to lose it on a kid for the umpteenth time, save yourself and the kid the time and just put them on the bench.
